Now what are the joys of a single young man?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
And what is he doing whenever he can?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
You may think I’m wrong or you may think I’m right
I’m not going to argue, I know you can’t fight
But what do you think we are doing tonight?
Why, boozing, bloody well boozing
Boozing, boozing, just you and I
Boozing, boozing, when we are dry
Some do it openly, some on the sly
And we all are bloody well boozing
Oh what are the joys of an old married man? …
And what is he doing whenever he can? …
He comes home at night and he gives his wife all
He goes out a-shopping, makes many a call
But what brings him home hanging on to the wall? …
And what do the moral majority run down? …
And what are they banning in every town? …
They stand on street corners, they rave and they shout
They shout about things they know nothing about
But what are they doing when the lights are turned out? …